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[禱告]Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever ................ L❤vE, elsa
December 13 Worshiping at Night我想，每个人的心里都有伤口，或多或少
也许，我们已经不再感知疼痛，或深或浅
终究，我们需不需要被医治？而伤口又在哪里？
grace 说：要像如同不需要挣钱一样去工作，如同没有人听见那样去唱歌
sue 说：好好活就是做有意义的事，做有意义的事就是好好活着
在我们积极面对人生的时候，那些伤口还痛吗？
Indeed, worshiping at night during the depth of our sorrows, is a difficult thing. Yet therein lies the blessing, for it is the test of perfect faith. If I desire to know the true depth of my friend's love, I must see how he responds during the winter seasons of my life. And it is the same with divine love.
It is easy for me to worship in the summer sunshine, when the beautiful melodies of life seem to fill the air, and the lush fruit of life is still on the trees. But when the songbirds cease and the fruit falls from the trees, will my heart continue to sing? Will remain in God's house at night? Will I love Him simply for who He is? Am I willing to 'keep watch for one hour' (Mark 14:37) with Him in His Gethsemane? Will I help Him carry His cross up the road of suffering to Calvary? Will I stand beside Him in His dying moments, with Mary, His mother, and John, the beloved disciple? Would I be able, with Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus, to take the dead Christ from His cross?
If I can do these things, then my worship is complete and my blessing glorious. Then I indeed shown Him love during the time of His humiliation. My faith has seen Him in His lowest state, and yet my heart has recognized His majesty through His humble disguise. And at last I truly know that I desire not the gift but the Giver. Yes, when I can remain in His house through the darkness of night and worship Him, I have accepted Him for Himself alone.
My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
It's His to lead me there, not mine, but His -
''At any cost, dear Lord, by any road!''
So faith bouns forward to its goal in God,
And love can trust her Lord to lead her there;
Upheld by Him, my soul is following hard
Till the Lord has fulfilled my deepest prayer.
No matter if the way is sometimes dark,
No matter though the cost is often great,
He knows the way for me to reach the mark,
The road that leads to Him is sure and straight.
One thing is sure, I cannot tell Him no;
One thing I do, I press towards my Lord;
Giving God my glory here, as I go,
Knowing in heaven waits my Great Reward.
Streams in the Desert ~ December 11
November 22 THE PRAYER by Carol Bayer Sager and David FosterI pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace to a place where we'll be safe
I pray we 'll find your light, and hold it in our hearts
When stars go out each night, remind us where you are
Let this be our prayer, when shadows fill our day
Help us find a place, guide us with your grace, give us faith so we'll be safe
A world where pain and sorrow will be ended
And every heart that's broken will he mended
And we'll remember we are all God's children
Reaching out to touch you, reaching to the sky
We ask that life be kind, and watch us from above
We hope each soul will find another soul to love
Let this be our prayer, just like every child
Who needs to find a place, guide us with your grace,
Give us faith so we'll be safe
Needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe.
1998 Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp. (BMI) All rights reserved.
November 17 You Raise Me Up
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
November 02 静·止今天晚上很安静，难得的安静，一个人躺在被窝里看书，困的时候睡了一会儿，就觉得是件很幸福的事情。
前一段时间在看·士兵突击· 很喜欢里面的袁朗，最令人感动的还是那个傻傻的许三多，不知道为什么许三多的一句话印象特别深刻，他总是说·人不能过得太舒服· 真的是这样吗？那么我们学习，工作的目的是什么？不是希望可以给自己，家人创造更加舒适的生活吗？挣钱为什么？有了钱，我就可以毫无顾忌地去买600块的记忆棉，租2000块的房子住，去喜欢的地方旅行。那样的生活会是怎样的？
会没有目标？没有方向？！没有梦想！ 生活的动力被磨灭了，留下的只是享受和舒适了。
我不要用我的梦想去换取享受，因为他们从来都不是等值的。我可以不要记忆棉，房子和旅行，但我要我的生活有意义。我不知道应如何奋斗，努力，但我有依靠，有方向。我希望我现在的态度不是因为我的叛逆与年轻。
神说，·云停。。。人停。。。· 我就像那时的以色列人一样，停止于一个状态，或许是在等待，我甚至时常不太清楚自己每天在做什么，想什么，嘈杂的声音让我觉得我在忙，我很累，我需要休息，需要停止，需要思考。
也许是神要我停止在这个状态，让我分辨清楚我是谁，在做什么，为着什么！我需要更多一个人安静的时间，把事情想清楚，我在为谁而活！
August 17 朋友变同事最近的工作很忙，很多事情做，过得很充实。
工作中最开心的事，就是为自己的好朋友办理入职手续。很简单的东西下意识里都要 double check 一下才放心。
好朋友变同事是一种什么感觉？在神的眷顾中有着什么样的安排？
从此我们便会“出双入对”，某些人已经在严重羡慕中。。。
heehee...
我也想你了，ｐｐ，来上海吧！
June 15 How to grow ''LOVE''1. Pick a good heart
 2. Plant it in a bucket of Trust
3. Water with Care & Good thoughts
4. Add some Romancing occasionally
5. Remove the misunderstanding leaves
17 June
went to the fellowship tonight, the last time before i leave, the girls prayed for me, Soya and Holy held my hands, Carol and Fiona prayed, i will miss them, miss these lovely girls, miss the time we share our tears and laughts... yes, how to grow love, we need friends, need God, need someone with us to grow together.
May 29 the Pursuit of Happyness   the Pursuit of Happyness ~ Running to get your Time Machine ~
there are 3 leading actors in the moive: Chris, his son, and his "Time Machine".
Chris lost his "Time Machine" many times, he run to get them back; he run from the taxi, cuz no money to pay; he run to catch the bus after work, cuz there might be no free place left in the shelter... and he run... run... run... for a better life.
(at the basketball court, Chris talked to his son)Chris: Don't let somebody tell you, "you cannot do something", not even me. All right?
Son: All right.
Chris: You gotta a dream?! You gotta protect it. You want some? Go and get it ...
(in the tube station, after they were evicted from the apartment) Chris and his son lived in the station toilet for over-night. the "Time Machine" led them back to the age of Jurassic, they escaped from the dinosaur, and hided in a big cave (toilet), they were happy, cuz they were saved (someone kicked the locked door). the movie is about running for life, about lose & find back, dreams may run away, but you gatta hold your belief, hold your own's "Time Machine", because it helps you to find your way, to walk through the space tunnel, and to make your dreams come true. we all need a cave to hide, to protect ourselves and to save us. but it may be not a comfortable place, the room may be small, the condition may disappointed us, but we know we are safe, so what feelings can be better than sensing the peace. what difficulties we cannot bear? what fears can threat us?
~ Climbing Big Mountains ~
(church worship)the important thing about climbing the mountains...
we all deal with the big mountains, you know to pass the big mountain,
the mountains would be real high, mountains can go deeper low,
yes, we know these big mountains are,
we sing about them...
seems hard to bear, but i wont give up,
cuz You promise me, You lead me out of it
please dont move up those mountains.
we all need courage to ask God to make those mounatains stay in our life, to make them firm and burdensome ~
we all need strength and wisdom to climb the mountains, to search His will and to make us more like Him ~
when the broken machine was fixed by Chris in the dark corridor, a small bulb can lighten the whole room, i dont know what he saw in the light, his son fell asleep peacefully, so many people are just like him homeless, or... he may see his future, as bright as the light... i think he is happy and hopeful...
~ Are you Happy? ~
what is Happiness? i cannot think of a defintion.
like Chris named his life in different times, what can i call this part of my life? race just begin... prepare to run...
mmm... maybe "A Blank Paper" is better...
~ So, Are you Happy now? ~
 May 07 独自安静de勇敢 选择工作，不是选择一份职业而已，而是选择一种生活方式。 现在面临的挑战不是寻找一份适合自己的工作，而是寻找一种适合自己的生活方式。 "只要你肯 独自安静 在一个地方 --- 人世间的光明和黑暗，一概接触不到的地方 --- 人们的意见不能到达的地方 --- 只要你 敢 在那里 静静地等候 着，不顾你四围一切的催促，那时神旨就要向你显明，你对神就会有一种新的概念，对他的神性和爱心会有更深切的洞见，这会成了你极乐的经历 --- 永久可宝贵的经历。你等待的时间虽长，至此也得到了丰富的酬报。" --- 大卫 (David) "A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?" (Proverbs 20:24)
神问我 ·你敢不敢？· 敢不敢 独自安静，独自勇敢，独自等待？我敢，我告诉他，我敢，我不是独自安静，独自勇敢，独自等待吗？他又问我 ·你有没有 静静地等候· 我不知道，我想我有吧！我一个人可以制造多少噪音？ 现在，我知道了，原来我没有安静，没有顺服，没有等候！独自静候神是一种心理面的状态，以前的忙碌为着作业，为着考试，现在为着将来，为着工作，可是我问自己到底为什么？·为着实现神的旨意·我知道此刻的我没有说谎，我清楚自己在做什么。那接下来又应当怎样？没有神的恩典与爱，没有勇气，动力，勤奋，执著。。。即使知道人生的目标又有什么意义。只有安静在神面前的时候，他的声音才会变得特别清晰，他的每一字每一句都会刻在脑海中，他赐予的信心会不自觉地蔓延在心里。神有神奇的力量，他爱软弱的人，爱依靠他的人，爱他的孩子
我要安静地，安静地，让自己处在一种状态。
我要每天： 不许：
浪费时间，迟到， 说谎， 做不好的事，想不该想的事， 不打电话回家， 假装，虚伪，懒惰， 勉强自己，不坚强，失望， 吃巧克力和薯片，乱花钱， 挤痘痘，喝太多咖啡，不回邮件， 计较， I am: an ordinary girl. I want: to have a job asap. but it worth to wait. I need: close friends always be with me.
April 28 growing up... ...in the past 3 months since i back home, i experienced the happiest and lowest time, and i am kind of lost my directions, i don't know what i expect, where i belong to, i became moody, sensitive and emotional, and i know i am changed. maybe in others eyes, pressure and worries may be an expression of maturity, perhaps i became more like an adult, but somehow i don't want to be changed. We always pray to God to open our eyes, but i don't want to see the real world. We always know God will never forsake us, but i still blame Him. We always know life is a journey, never been easy, but i still not willing to make my next move.
How can i grow up like this? God said, "Never..."
So i have to change, to be changed by God, by the experiences He allowed me to bear, by the faith He put in my heart, by the hope of a wonderful life.
... i am full of gratitude to Him, my Lord, my Saviour, my Shelter, my Light, my Hope, and my Way ...
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you... thoughts of peace... to give you an expected end."
要学会去爱和付出，
要珍惜家人和朋友，
要学会坚强，勇敢面对，
要学会接受，学习原谅，
要认识自己，坚持梦想，坚守信念，
要学会在困境中赞美神，敬拜神，
要知道生命的美好，学会感恩，
 家人和朋友永远都是最最宝贵的 继续努力找工作。。。
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