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December 13 Worshiping at Night我想，每个人的心里都有伤口，或多或少
也许，我们已经不再感知疼痛，或深或浅
终究，我们需不需要被医治？而伤口又在哪里？
grace 说：要像如同不需要挣钱一样去工作，如同没有人听见那样去唱歌
sue 说：好好活就是做有意义的事，做有意义的事就是好好活着
在我们积极面对人生的时候，那些伤口还痛吗？
Indeed, worshiping at night during the depth of our sorrows, is a difficult thing. Yet therein lies the blessing, for it is the test of perfect faith. If I desire to know the true depth of my friend's love, I must see how he responds during the winter seasons of my life. And it is the same with divine love.
It is easy for me to worship in the summer sunshine, when the beautiful melodies of life seem to fill the air, and the lush fruit of life is still on the trees. But when the songbirds cease and the fruit falls from the trees, will my heart continue to sing? Will remain in God's house at night? Will I love Him simply for who He is? Am I willing to 'keep watch for one hour' (Mark 14:37) with Him in His Gethsemane? Will I help Him carry His cross up the road of suffering to Calvary? Will I stand beside Him in His dying moments, with Mary, His mother, and John, the beloved disciple? Would I be able, with Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus, to take the dead Christ from His cross?
If I can do these things, then my worship is complete and my blessing glorious. Then I indeed shown Him love during the time of His humiliation. My faith has seen Him in His lowest state, and yet my heart has recognized His majesty through His humble disguise. And at last I truly know that I desire not the gift but the Giver. Yes, when I can remain in His house through the darkness of night and worship Him, I have accepted Him for Himself alone.
My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
It's His to lead me there, not mine, but His -
''At any cost, dear Lord, by any road!''
So faith bouns forward to its goal in God,
And love can trust her Lord to lead her there;
Upheld by Him, my soul is following hard
Till the Lord has fulfilled my deepest prayer.
No matter if the way is sometimes dark,
No matter though the cost is often great,
He knows the way for me to reach the mark,
The road that leads to Him is sure and straight.
One thing is sure, I cannot tell Him no;
One thing I do, I press towards my Lord;
Giving God my glory here, as I go,
Knowing in heaven waits my Great Reward.
Streams in the Desert ~ December 11
November 02 静·止今天晚上很安静，难得的安静，一个人躺在被窝里看书，困的时候睡了一会儿，就觉得是件很幸福的事情。
前一段时间在看·士兵突击· 很喜欢里面的袁朗，最令人感动的还是那个傻傻的许三多，不知道为什么许三多的一句话印象特别深刻，他总是说·人不能过得太舒服· 真的是这样吗？那么我们学习，工作的目的是什么？不是希望可以给自己，家人创造更加舒适的生活吗？挣钱为什么？有了钱，我就可以毫无顾忌地去买600块的记忆棉，租2000块的房子住，去喜欢的地方旅行。那样的生活会是怎样的？
会没有目标？没有方向？！没有梦想！ 生活的动力被磨灭了，留下的只是享受和舒适了。
我不要用我的梦想去换取享受，因为他们从来都不是等值的。我可以不要记忆棉，房子和旅行，但我要我的生活有意义。我不知道应如何奋斗，努力，但我有依靠，有方向。我希望我现在的态度不是因为我的叛逆与年轻。
神说，·云停。。。人停。。。· 我就像那时的以色列人一样，停止于一个状态，或许是在等待，我甚至时常不太清楚自己每天在做什么，想什么，嘈杂的声音让我觉得我在忙，我很累，我需要休息，需要停止，需要思考。
也许是神要我停止在这个状态，让我分辨清楚我是谁，在做什么，为着什么！我需要更多一个人安静的时间，把事情想清楚，我在为谁而活！
May 07 独自安静de勇敢 选择工作，不是选择一份职业而已，而是选择一种生活方式。 现在面临的挑战不是寻找一份适合自己的工作，而是寻找一种适合自己的生活方式。 "只要你肯 独自安静 在一个地方 --- 人世间的光明和黑暗，一概接触不到的地方 --- 人们的意见不能到达的地方 --- 只要你 敢 在那里 静静地等候 着，不顾你四围一切的催促，那时神旨就要向你显明，你对神就会有一种新的概念，对他的神性和爱心会有更深切的洞见，这会成了你极乐的经历 --- 永久可宝贵的经历。你等待的时间虽长，至此也得到了丰富的酬报。" --- 大卫 (David) "A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?" (Proverbs 20:24)
神问我 ·你敢不敢？· 敢不敢 独自安静，独自勇敢，独自等待？我敢，我告诉他，我敢，我不是独自安静，独自勇敢，独自等待吗？他又问我 ·你有没有 静静地等候· 我不知道，我想我有吧！我一个人可以制造多少噪音？ 现在，我知道了，原来我没有安静，没有顺服，没有等候！独自静候神是一种心理面的状态，以前的忙碌为着作业，为着考试，现在为着将来，为着工作，可是我问自己到底为什么？·为着实现神的旨意·我知道此刻的我没有说谎，我清楚自己在做什么。那接下来又应当怎样？没有神的恩典与爱，没有勇气，动力，勤奋，执著。。。即使知道人生的目标又有什么意义。只有安静在神面前的时候，他的声音才会变得特别清晰，他的每一字每一句都会刻在脑海中，他赐予的信心会不自觉地蔓延在心里。神有神奇的力量，他爱软弱的人，爱依靠他的人，爱他的孩子
我要安静地，安静地，让自己处在一种状态。
我要每天： 不许：
浪费时间，迟到， 说谎， 做不好的事，想不该想的事， 不打电话回家， 假装，虚伪，懒惰， 勉强自己，不坚强，失望， 吃巧克力和薯片，乱花钱， 挤痘痘，喝太多咖啡，不回邮件， 计较， I am: an ordinary girl. I want: to have a job asap. but it worth to wait. I need: close friends always be with me.
April 28 growing up... ...in the past 3 months since i back home, i experienced the happiest and lowest time, and i am kind of lost my directions, i don't know what i expect, where i belong to, i became moody, sensitive and emotional, and i know i am changed. maybe in others eyes, pressure and worries may be an expression of maturity, perhaps i became more like an adult, but somehow i don't want to be changed. We always pray to God to open our eyes, but i don't want to see the real world. We always know God will never forsake us, but i still blame Him. We always know life is a journey, never been easy, but i still not willing to make my next move.
How can i grow up like this? God said, "Never..."
So i have to change, to be changed by God, by the experiences He allowed me to bear, by the faith He put in my heart, by the hope of a wonderful life.
... i am full of gratitude to Him, my Lord, my Saviour, my Shelter, my Light, my Hope, and my Way ...
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you... thoughts of peace... to give you an expected end."
要学会去爱和付出，
要珍惜家人和朋友，
要学会坚强，勇敢面对，
要学会接受，学习原谅，
要认识自己，坚持梦想，坚守信念，
要学会在困境中赞美神，敬拜神，
要知道生命的美好，学会感恩，
 家人和朋友永远都是最最宝贵的 继续努力找工作。。。
January 04 The Year of Being CLOSER
October 04 写给你和你们的一封信 - 感谢篇 My Dear xx, xxx, xxx, xx & xx ... ... 某人多次催我update 我的blog, 在这里对我忠实的Fans 们表达我最诚挚的歉意。
其实我不知道写什么，怎么写，很多不同的感觉在心里，有点怪怪的。
回到了Guildford, 生活似乎一下子变得丰富起来，终于摆脱了论文的压力，离开了安静的城市，结束了我的学生生涯，又回到了这个热闹的小镇，每天都有好朋友在身边，每天都会开心的大笑，当然也有为了你和你们伤心，难过的时候，虽然我知道你们的心一定还在隐隐作痛，但是谢谢你们的故事和经历让我懂得一些道理，让我知道我很幸福，是你们让我学会感恩，让我明白神有多爱我。
谢谢你们把我当作朋友分享心事，不知道你们有没有同样的感受，很多时候，在你试图安慰朋友的时候，其实很多话是在讲给自己听的。
在最近的几天中，我听到两个好朋友都说过同样的一句话 "If I die..." 你们在说要死掉的时候，我真的感觉好难过，我从没有见过绝望的人是什么样子的，原来是这么可怕。但是你们让我见到神，见到他的爱，你要做那个“全新的你”，你要知道 "God is our Hope".
或许，在安静的时候才会把很多事情想清楚，无论愿不愿意去面对，只有当我们安静在神面前的时候，他才会用钥匙打开我们心中一道道的锁，让我们没有恨，没有绝望，没有失望，没有伤痛，他会把那些受伤的痕迹慢慢变成神迹，直到有一天我们可以畅然的和别人一起去见证那些有意义的往事。
所以，你，你们，我们都要加油啊！
love, elsa
   August 12 神是一个开始，也是一个结束 记忆在脑海中留下潮湿的味道，海水冲不走留在岸边的脚步，
期待的是一个结束，还是另一个开始，
迷惘中，却有着平安的祝福。
也感谢神，让我提前3天回来英国。
August 08 ◆禱告◆
禱告 因為我渺小 禱告 因為我知道我需要 明瞭 你心意對我重要
禱告 已假裝不了 禱告 因為你的愛我需要 你關懷 我走過的你都明白 有些事我只想要對你說 因你比任何人都愛我 痛苦從眼中流下 我知道你為我擦 在早晨我也要來對你說 主耶穌今天我為你活 所需要的力量你天天賜給我 你恩典夠我用 Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians, 3: 14) 这次回来，感觉没有那么想家，可能是论文的原因，还有三周，能写完么？应该可以吧！
明天见老师，还没有准备。今天去了city centre, shopping, 买些吃的，和rachel，michelle聊天， 看到她们都那么努力的学习，我也要加油了。
--- 大学的最后一个月
July 24 Give Thanks7月23日23点 火车上 北京-天津 火车站很乱，声音很嘈杂，刚才进站的时候不由自主地很想念英国的宁静。很多人，很多很高的人，很热很挤，也有很多小朋友，皮肤黑黑的可爱。大人们都用焦急的目光盯住进站口，而小朋友们眼中却闪着欢乐，还和自己的小伙伴们拍手，游戏，也许他们正在感受着快要回家的喜悦，这是一班开往齐齐哈尔的火车，K39次。
今天很累，完成了两个interview, 是意外的超额完成任务，没想到两位叔叔人这莫好，帮我好多忙，告诉我要怎样做论文，给我好多意见。我心里也有了大概的轮廓，知道应该怎样做剩下的部分。
上火车的时候，看到那莫多人，我忽然想问神，为什莫这样爱我？我太幸福，仅是因为我相信神吗？不只是因为那两位叔叔对我的照顾，还有其他好多事情，不得不让我去慢慢学习怎样感恩。前天和妈妈晚上聊天的时候，讲了好多事情，更加发现我的生活已经被神安排得妥妥当当，什莫都不用担心，我看到妈妈眼中的感动和放心，我想她感受到了我的幸福，她很开心。
·凡事。。。。。。常常感谢父神·（Ephesians 5:20） (This is the verse I read in my quiet time today, God prepared everything.)
May 29 Exam Scenery - 730 May - 9:00~11:00 Strategies to Corporate Social Responsibility
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16: 3)
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." (Proverbs 16: 9)
"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD." (Proverbs 16: 33)
(12:15, 29 May)
"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 1: 3-11) (14:30, 29 May)
"And they sang a new song before the throne and before the four living creatures and the elders. No one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth." (Revelation 14: 3) (23:00, 29 May)
FINISH
歌曲：宁夏
歌手：梁静茹 专辑：燕尾蝶 下定爱的决心 宁静的夏天
天空中繁星点点 心里头有些思念 思念着你的脸 我可以假装看不见 也可以偷偷的想念 直到让我摸到你那温暖的脸 知了也睡了 安心的睡了 在我心里面宁静的夏天 那是个宁静的夏天 你来到宁夏的那一天 May 25 Exam Scenery - 6三个半星期后的昨天，只剩下一个考试了，也只剩下了5天，心里面好像一下子放松了好多好多。不行啊！不可以呀！可就在这头脑和身体最受考验的时刻，病毒都来袭击我。。。
喉咙好像有一只虫，不知疲倦的爬呀爬，紧紧地抓住我的上颚，于是我拼命地拼命地喝水，想要把它冲走，它却爬到我的眼睛，用力的拉住我的睫毛，让我也要很用力将它抬起，它又很不服气地爬进我的脑袋，注入一些毒汁，所以就导致连续两天都在混沌中度过，好吧，那就让我以毒攻毒，吃下那传说中的迷魂药，让我用意念在睡梦中与之抗衡。奇怪，为什莫没有做那些惊心动魄的梦，我期待得很呢，连我想看电影的欲望都被磨灭了。我要把那些虫，从身体的每个角落捉出来，用力践踏，丢出窗外。于是它听到了我的计划，发出近乎绝望的叫喊：你好狠心！
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。
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请你不要怪我狠心，要知道我也很想让你在我的身体里寄居。。。
请你原谅我的无奈，我怀念去年夏天重生的感觉。。。
May 24 Exam Scenery - 5我们知道，原来许多事，并不会被忘记，只不过是深藏在心中，等待机会潜滋暗长。以至于让你忘记了自己记得罢了。
片名叫《情书》英文名是《LOVE LETTER》直译是《爱的信笺》，觉得译成这样更好。
Still Here 我願意
Lene Marlin 琳恩瑪蓮
I just can’t help it
No matter what you say It sounds you’re far from okay I know you’re hurting So please just stop the lie Just say, say you’ll try Try to stop hiding, and show me how you are I see through all the faces you put on I know you’re wondering, just how you got to this All you’ve lost, all you missed But it will be fine, and you’ll be smiling
And you’ll be grateful, for what’s still there And you’ll be hoping that you still have it here The things you thought you lost The things you thought were gone I wish I’d seen it
A long time ago At least, now I know I need your promise No point of asking why Just say, say you’ll try Try to stop hiding, and show me how you are I see through all the faces you put on I know you’re wondering, just how you got to this All you’ve lost, all you missed But it will be fine, and you’ll be smiling
And you’ll be grateful, for what’s still there And you’ll be hoping that you still have it here The things you thought you lost
The things you thought were gone The things you thought you lost The things you thought were gone
(The original singer of this song is 王菲, but to many people who don't know, actually this is a worship song, a song for God, a song from God.)
May 22 Exam Scenery - 423 May - 9:00~11:00 Social and Environmental Accountability
"they were at their wits' end. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men." (Psalm 107: 27-28) (23:30, 22 May)
my body feel exhausted, my mind feel relax, finished 3 exams already, finally can have a breath, 6 days more for the final one, no study today, need recharge. last night i was like reached the limit, then finally i have to say exam is not funny at all. when i finished the first topic at 2am, i really wanted to give up, then i fell down on the bed, but afraid to fall asleep, suddenly i remembered i talked to Philip after my HR exam, that i was so happy i did pretty well, then he said "add more oil"; then i remembered cheery left her message in my last last last last blog that asked me to call her after "17" days; then i imagined my dad and mum's happy face when i told them i did well with my exams; then i recalled my memory that how God told me each day to be strong and rely on Him, that is why i had a peaceful and joyful heart. and finally and also funny that, this subject remind me that it was my core module, and the lecturer is my personal tutor, and i don't want to be the worst one among our 7 people, haha... then i suddenly got up. this is joking, but what i mean is i know lots of you are praying for me, and God especially led me to read those verses about faith, hope and wisdom. He wanted me to see how that little sunshine can make the whole sky bright, and the beauty of that small piece of pure blue in the cloudy day. (13:30, 23 May)
30 May - 9:00~11:00 Strategies to Corporate Social Responsibility
Exam Scenery - 322 May - 13:30~15:30 Strategic Human Resource Management
"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." (Psalm 37: 5) (03:00, 22 May)
I will go for the exam in 15 mins, yes, feel ready, everything just give to God now. (11:15, 22 May)
i bought a chocolate when i back home, encourage myself that add more oil tonight, only 14 hours more to the next one, then i can have a recovery sleep, i dreamed about that moment already. two finished, two more, experienced more, happy more, enjoyed more, grow more... this is not a process of simply exams, but more... (17:00, 22 May)
这几天天气都不好，昨天看书的时候，有一段时间很晴朗的，然后就看见有一大片乌云从我头顶飘过来，然后就这样遮盖了整个天空，再然后就刮风了，下雨了，闪电了，打雷了，过了一会儿，突然看见有一缕阳光好像利剑一样穿破了乌云，然后就看见了一大片乌云上有一片晴朗的小天空。想象ing...... 照片明天上传。
23 May - 9:00~11:00 Social and Environmental Accountability
30 May - 9:00~11:00 Strategies to Corporate Social Responsibility
May 21 Exam Scenery - 2为什莫我脑子里的人物都是呲牙咧嘴的？明天画个帅哥，美女瞧瞧！
经过一周的复习，觉得这样的日子变得越来越习惯了，下周一，周二两天考试，心里一点感觉都没有，除了睡得少之外，似乎也没有什莫值得抱怨的，每天都是一个循环：看书，记笔记，记住，看书，记笔记，记住。。。。。。
不过有一件事我必须讲一下，就是第一科的考试，连续6年出同样的题目，为什莫不通知我们，今年就不出了，然后还要在复习课上讲解这道题？实在是觉得老师很坏。要知道多少人在时间不够的情况下，复习了这道很难背下的题目。现在想一下，原来上图画的那个人是有点像他呢！怪不得！我生气啊！回来难过死了，还好在考前看了两眼另一道题，不然我真得要准备50镑。。。补考了，不过现在还是觉得，可能这钱是省不了了。还好，这并没有影响到我这两天的复习，开开心心地看了两个题目，明天还有一个。HR的老师就是好，复习课很全面，出乎我们所料，他竟然明讲他要出什莫题目，要我们答哪些知识点，当然不是题目，但是很全面，相信他，就复习两个，是他叫我们只看两个就够了，要是再出第一科类似的情况，我就 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。准备钱 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。 然后Accountability的老师是我的tutor，他也说题目和上年format一样，所以我们大批人马都也只看两个，要是 。。。。。。 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。我就破产了 。。。。。。。。。。邻居美女也说她的考试也出现同样情况，害得她最有把握，想用来加分的科目，也要补考了。现在的老师都这末不厚道。
我想说什莫来着？怎末这末一大篇都在说上左图？我生气。已经不难过了。
我一点都不累，真的，也没有很想快点考完试，反而觉得看着自己每天都可以这样用功，看书，记笔记，然后记在脑子里。。。事实证明我的记忆力还行。这两天，瘦了一点点。睡得少，不过吃得多。昨天一天吃了两个鸡蛋。还拍了一些照片，下次传上来。前几天，一次站在窗口，外面下着雨，突然感觉到undergraduate毕业之后的感觉，那时候就是这时候，也是天天下雨。没事做了，没书看了，没试考了，等着成绩，盼着毕业 。。。不想要那样的感觉，但也许今年也不会了吧，考完试会有好多好多的事情做。论文的interview联系得差不多了，考完试，就和月亮先生meeting，是我的supervisor - Mr. Moon. 我们international centre of CSR 的director，一个有点口吃，但是很和蔼的中年人。冬天的时候我叫他·神探噶捷特·他的穿戴太像了，就是想看看他的帽子里藏着什莫。
今天说得有点多，不生气了，我要去看书了，继续我的循环。。。
两天之后先睡个饱，再最后一搏。
歌曲：最初的梦想
如果骄傲没被现实大海冷能拍下
又怎会懂得要多努力
才走得到远方 如果梦想不曾坠落悬崖 千钧一发 又怎会晓得执着的人 又有隐形翅牓 把眼泪装在心上 会开出勇敢的花 可以在疲惫的时光 闭上眼睛闻到一种芬芳 就像好好睡了一夜直到天亮 又能边走着边哼着歌 用轻快的步伐 沮丧时总会明显感到孤独的重量 多渴望懂得的人给些温暖借个肩膀 很高兴一路上我们的默契那么长 穿过风又绕个弯心还连着 像往常一样 最初的梦想紧握在手上 最想要去的地方 怎么能在半路就返航 最初的梦想绝对会到达 实现了真的渴望 才能够算到过了天堂 绝对会到达
http://www.fatcatno1.com/mp3/zcdmx.mp3
May 18 Exam Scenery - 118 May - 13:30~15:30 Corporate Strategy
"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead." (2 Corinthians 1: 8-9) (11pm, 17 May)
this morning, 6am, finished fully preparation of this module, now a bit tired, but cannot sleep, otherwise will so dizzy and will forget everything i guess, this time i gonna gamble really, should answer 2 essay writing questions, and i just prepared 2. maybe i will just have a glance of another one in the next a few hours. but i feel i am ready for the exam. The first time have exam without panic at all through the whole revision process. i did what i can do, just leave the rests for God. Remembered the lecturer in the revision session said, there are three factors in the exam: effort, ability and luck. ability is the thing needs long-term development, cannot control in short period. luck is random possibility. only effort is what we can do in the revision time. but i know, whether is effort, ability or luck, all of them are provided and controlled by God, and i hoped myself a good luck, that is the blessing from my Father. i took some pictures of different sky this morning, and i know there are more scenery for me to see in the next two weeks. this is a good life. (06:30, 18 May)
just came back from the exam. i did not finish the paper, cuz i only formally prepared one of the questions, and another one, just wrote half, maybe less than half, i just read through once that journal, did not remember much. but when i looked at the questions, i was not afraid at all, suddenly i wanted to thank God that can give me enough time to fully answer the question which i knew. i was not feel so bad after the exam until i talked to Rachel, until the credit and printer not working in the campus, i need to improve my study skills, i am not smart, so need more effort, but seems not useful... but thx fiona went to buy some food with me afterwards, then it was rained, but i saw a rainbow just now. i am gonna to concentrate on my next two exams, only 4 days more. btw, i got my SCSR assignment result before the exam, satisfying mark, made me feel better, 加油啦！God always the best. (18:22, 18 May)
"Before he had finished praying... Praise be to the LORD... who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness..." (Genesis 24: 15, 27) (00:30, 19 May)
神，你让我觉得什莫都不在乎了，只要你，我只要你在这里。
大不了，补考，who 怕 who
继续努力中。。。
22 May - 13:30~15:30 Strategic Human Resource Management
23 May - 9:00~11:00 Social and Environmental Accountability
30 May - 9:00~11:00 Strategies to Corporate Social Responsibility
May 13 一年一度的 SUFFERING
first year exam - panic - first time to pray, sincerely, then... experienced God's power and peace ... believed HIM ...... second year exam - scary - asked for HIS help, then... He blessed me and i walked through ... trusted HIM ...... final year exam - tense - prayed as usual, then... i found my dream ... relied on HIM ...... master exam - tired - pray as well, then... i give myself to HIM ... without fear because i can predict my future it's in HIS hands ......
省略号真的很好用，可以掠过好多过程，一下子就跳到了结果。 看起来简单的，总是难以捉摸的。 其实那些说不出，看不见的东西，会永远藏在灵魂深处。 当回忆起那些懒得用笔记下的过程的时候，你有没有体会到它存在的意义？
revision continuing ......
突然觉得，我要珍惜这样的生活， 未来的两个星期很快就会过去， 。。。。。。 我在想， 我是真的珍视现在， 还是不想面对即将来临的更多的挑战， 。。。。。。 但是， 这忽然使原本很压抑的时间， 变得有意义， 变得让我留恋， 不想让它就这样流走。。。 ·SUFFERING· continuing ......
我要珍惜那些不用化妆依然美丽， 不用穿正装束缚自己， 不用人管自由自在， 不用。。。。。。的日子， 因为那些才是我眼中真正大人的生活， 但是， 我已经不再是个孩子。。。
·LIFE·continuing ......
April 15 不一样的蓝色和白色
自从 Easter 放假以来，生活一下子变得异常规律，连自己都有点不适应，每天晚上十一点准时睡觉，早上七点起床，（今天不算）这样，每天都可以看到变换着蓝色的天空，看到不同颜色浮动的云，体会着房间里暖和的温度，能够见证整个白天真的挺好，昨天晚上九点的时候，对面屋顶上空还闪着亮光，还以为是失火了，戴上眼镜看，原来太阳还没下山呢！原来夏天真的快到了。 xxx 最近不开心，也不知道怎末安慰她，也许她也不需要太多安慰吧，反而还说自己没事，过段时间就好，嗯，多看看天空吧，看那些变幻的颜色，心情就会好一些，就算不出去，也可以从窗口伸出手去感受一下那些风，就是它使云可以有不同的形状，让我们看到永远不一样的蓝色和白色。。。也许我们的生活有时也需要一些风，凛冽的，凉爽的，温和的，有时甚至它还会吹来冰雹，打在窗口噼噼啪啪的响，但是正是因为这样，所以我们的生活也好像天空一样会呈现不同的颜色，有阴天也有晴天，我们才会更加珍惜那些有阳光的日子，也渐渐学会不去恐惧和逃避，而去勇敢的面对那些所谓的暴风雨，因为我们相信之后的彩虹一定会在天空画出最美的弧线。希望你快点好起来。。。
April 07 study todaysky ~ half grey, half bright,
sun ~ seems warm, feels cold,
me ~ stay inside, dreaming outside... ...
tomorrow is coming, outing... haha... mansfield... although still in nott. but good to have fellowship with church friends... more pictures coming too...
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